Oh, I always knew I had feet. I remember as a kid running and using them. They always seem to be going in my direction, but my issue was I could not actually see them. Well, I did see them occasionally popping up in front of me, slightly within my line of sight, and somewhere below me.
An undiscovered explorer once said, “Sight is best when you can see.” The reason I had no sight of my feet was a bellow like protuberance riding before me on my chest, and blocking the sight of the earth under me and directly in front of me. This distention of skin contained a 60-pound larder of epicurean delights: dozens of mousse au chocolat, numerous terrine de canard, abundant pastries, gobs of Danish butter and copious loaves of succulent breads. A well feted larder of grand proportions.
The larder remained near me at all times. Continue reading